Post Semester One

On Prac

Some time has passed since my last post. That would be because of prac, I completed my first teaching prac just last week. What an incredible experience and what a great feeling to finally get out there and get up in front of a class, as opposed to listening to dreary lectures that you know you will hardly recall once you are out there in the field anyway.

It was tough, there is no denying that, the first two weeks were the worst – finishing lesson plans at 3am and getting up at 5;30 am. That being said I hardly had time to breathe. For the second part the remaining two weeks, they were not so bad, as you begin to get into the swing of things and many of your lessons continue on from last lesson so there isn’t as much planning involved, not to mention you are able to gage the sort of lesson to prepare for, for each class. Your sort of in the dark at first, so naturally you over prepare which is always a good habit mind you – regardless of whether your a pre service teacher or a teacher of 20 years experience.

I was placed at a great school and can only hope that my next placement is as equally as good if not better. It certainly affirmed my decision to be a teacher for the rest of my life that is for sure. indeed I cannot wait to get out there and have my own classes for that matter. Such a challenging and rewarding occupation. I could think of nothing better.

There is also no denying how fast it all went, and as many have said – you find yourself just getting the hang of things & just starting to form a connection with your classes when all of sudden bam its over, and certainly it felt that way on my last day no truer words could have been said. But I am thankful for my experience and have learned many things.

On TKD

Due to the hectic schedule of prac, with lesson planning an such I had little time for my other extra curricula activities, one of them being taekwondo. To honest I actually though I thought i would still have time for training amidst my first practicum. How naïve I was. I missed four weeks worth of training.

I currently hold a three tip blue belt and am up for my red belt grading next week. Last Thursday was my first night back after four weeks and let me tell you god it was good to be back. It came just in time as my body was steadily beginning to feel the affects of inactivity – my restless leg was beginning play up, my whole body was beginning to feel still and tight. My spirit was restless – it needed guidance, for when one is able to control thy body they are then able to control thy mind. Taking up Taekwondo has been one the best things I have ever done.

I was surprised at how well I was able to remember everything and I was even more surprised at the how well I done to keep up. I thought that I was going to die having done no training in weeks but alas as it turned out my body craved the release, just as the mind craves to express itself so too does the body – for they go hand in hand. Writing the catharsis of the mind and martial arts the catharsis of the body – together they form the catharsis of the soul – though let us not forget the catharsis of thy heart – Love. The most powerful catharsis of all, one that I could never experience if it were not for my beloved.

On other things – My lover, my daughter, Facebook and wanderings in the street.

I wont beat around the bush for this one – life is hard, but its even harder if you don’t have someone there to support to you, someone to love you – to encourage you, to help you, to be there when you fail and to be there when you succeed, and I owe many thanks to my partner in crime, my beloved. I Love you.

Our daughter is now 18months old going on 19 months, and she is as cheeky as ever! She has a beautiful personality, though cheeky to the bone she is sweet at heart. God we cherish those rare moments where she hugs us, or puckers up her lips for a kiss. Her vocabulary is building ever so quickly, I can hear and see a personality – a person forming, her very own person forming ever so rapidly. It’s frightening and yet is it is ever so exciting. Every day she seems to express new emotions and thoughts. She demonstrates news phrases & and new understandings of the world around her. it’s still feels so crazy to think that my partner and I have created life, and that this life is blossoming, flourishing, god how we love her. God how we are thankful.

So as the title insinuated I had some things to say about Facebook. Indeed I wanted to express my distaste for the damn thing. Though that being said come to it now I am lost for words and thus forget what it was I wanted to say. I think my major grievance with it is how insidious it is – not to mention it’s counterpart instagram.

Perhaps I am simply not utilising it to the best of its ability such as following pages that pertain to my interests and such. I cannot but feel as though Facebook is nothing more than major wank-fest that screams “look at me”, “look at me”. It has the power to change the world and yet at the same time has the power to enslave society. It is a digital double edged sword.

Most of the time though all I see is this sick insecure desire to validate oneself. I see this cry for validation, I hardly see the pro’s where people pose questions or instigate debates, I see only one side of the sword – tell me, am I not using it correctly? To see the other side of the sword, But then would I not be jeopardising my own image if I dared shared things that went against the grain. To challenge the status qou? To retaliate to the mainstream ideas that the majority of Facebook promotes; wether it be science or religion, to do so you would be ostracising yourself, for Facebook is a means to social networking amongst the wider community, thus you want to maintain an image that conforms to the status qou, an image that pertains to the status qou in order to fit in… so that one may gain acceptance, employment – things needed in order to survive in this modern world of the digital interface. Yet as I said Facebook and social networking in general has the power to change the world – take for instance the Arab Spring.

The point being is that social networking is a double edged sword and its up to you how you wield it.

JS.

Universtiy Life, and My Belovded Partner in Crime.

We all approach life at our own pace, and life has a way of dictating to us at what pace we should best approach life.

That being said, as of late, life’s approach has been intense. And so in order to keep up, I have had to adopt an intense approach to life. Most of this intensity though stems from Uni. It is hard to believe that we are already about to enter week seven after the inter session break – which is by no means a break at all rather a chance to catch up on assignments and study. On top of that I have already completed my five observation days and will begin prac teaching in roughly five weeks.

My beloved partner and I are both working to complete our masters and much to our displeasure have not been able to spend much time together except for our dedicated date nights once a week (anyone in a relationship will tell you though this is not enough). Much of our time has consisted of early starts and late finishes; that is waking up at 5:30 – 6:00 most days and working into the evening until 1 – 3am. Three assessments down with three to go before prac teaching officially begins.

My observation days were incredibly enlightening, just as everyone I had spoken to had said – what you learn at uni is almost of no use, it is what you learn at prac that is of my importance and of most use. And I must say that I am in agreement with such statements. For starters uni didn’t even touch on lesson plans until a week before our assessment on lessons plans was due. There is also the way in which you conduct yourself in a classroom that they fail cover, that is they don’t teach you about the impact of where you stand in the room and how to project your voice etc. don’t get me wrong I don’t mind because it is the sort of stuff you learn on prac anyway but a few tips along the way wouldn’t go astray either.

My observation days appear to have gone well and I have learnt much. Most importantly though I have observed that teaching is indeed for me and I cannot wait until I secure that fulltime position. I can only dream and imagine of where that may be, should I succeed in my studies. I cannot explain it, only in that personally I feel that teaching/education is the foundation of any successful society/culture albeit that teaching be formal or informal – a society relies on good teachers for it to succeed – to be a part of such a process would be an honour of the upmost highest regard.

To think that you are responsible for someone else’s learning and understanding of the world around them. What an incredible and amazing feeling. I don’t mean to sound egotistical by the way, for that is by no means my intention; in fact I could think of nothing worse than being some pompous fool full of his own self-importance, blowing smoke up his own ass. Indeed, the very thought of teaching is a very humbling notion to me. The gravity and weight of the expectations in which such a title of ‘teacher’ entails is incredible, and should humble even the most inflated of egos, lest they be utter fools for the taking.

I imagine that the next few week will be tough, with three assessments due over the next three weeks and prac teaching to prepare for around the corner, the nights are only going to get longer and the morning’s remain early.  Not to fear, for as I said at the beginning: We all approach life at our own pace, and life has a way of dictating to us at what pace we should best approach life, that being said it is up to us to decide whether or not we meet the requirements of that pace lest be left behind.

Before I conclude though let me just say one more thing, if it were not for my beloved partner in crime in life I could never have made it as far as I have. Indeed I imagine that if it were not for my beloved other half I would be a complete and utter wreck. There is no way I could have come as far as I have if it were not for the support and love of my gorgeous girl. It is because of my beautiful lover that I feel the desire to push forward in the face of adversity, so that our future together may be bright and beautiful. I just want to say that I Love and appreciate her so much. Thank you for making my lunch in the morning when you are as tired as I am, thank you for serving me out dinner when you too are thinking about the assessments in which you need to get done. Thank you for always picking me up from the station when I know that is valuable time to you to use for study etc. Thank you for just being generally fucking awesome. Thank you for your kisses of good luck, your kisses of love, and your hugs of support. Knowing that I have you by my side makes every day that much easier to deal with. Every assessment that much easier to complete, every prac day that much easier to do, every day at work easier to get through. Thank you for being so encouraging, thank you for being so reassuring – your reassuring hugs and your reassuring kisses. You are my one and only, without you I am the earth with no sun, I am earth with no moon, you are my gravity that holds me steady, my atmosphere that helps me breathe.

JS.

University, Pt. 3

To think it’s only week three, yet the way I’m burning the midnight oil and how close the due date is for assessments you would think it’s week eight or something. Each night is a 2:30-am finish minimum, anything earlier and guilt and anxiety end up keeping me awake watching infomercials or re-runs of “Two and half men”, which is fine by me because my brain is so worn out the jokes are actually funny.

Getting out of bed is like rising from a 17th century grave, though I still seem to make it to UNI on time its about three hours before my brain catches up after me, I can almost pinpoint the moment – where all of a sudden it’s as though some one has turned the light on in a dank dark room full of mould. But its like fluorescent lighting that flickers for a bit and your eyes strain in order to adjust.

Last night I fell asleep at the desk, I was having “one of those nights”, where I couldn’t concentrate, my mind was in utter disarray at where to start or where to continue. So I reasoned that I would read a novel that had been allocated to me in one of my classes, alas it wasn’t long before I waking up with paper and food stuck to my face.

That all being said and done, I wouldn’t change it for a second. The thought of some dead end menial job is usually enough to wave away any feelings of self pity or second thoughts, however arduous the journey through UNI may be.

The days that I spend with my daughter in between UNI and work are such a treat, and ease my mind greatly. So far we have gone out for lunch with a friend and went to a wildlife park which was great fun. Without being too cliché it is indeed true what they say, they grow up fast. One week she is walking, the next she is running and throwing a ball. We have also gone down to a local park and swung on the swings together. Our time together is such a breathe of fresh after the confines of lecture theatres, study rooms and shopping centres.

They remind you that your hard work is for them, for their future. Because you want the best for them so you in turn do your best to ensure it.

JS.

University as a Mature Age Student (Pt. 2)

I am now entering the second week of my Masters Degree. There is certainly a different vibe compared with my undergraduate degree, though as I mentioned before that may simply be due to not sharing a class with a bunch psych students working through their issues. No offence to the well adjusted psych students out there.

From the first lecture, first thing in the morning it’s all systems go. There’s no sitting there drifting off thinking it’s all good got 6 weeks until that assessment is due, there’s no buying your textbooks half way through the semester and just cramming like hell. No, you quickly get the impression that its on! which much to my great pleasure is a welcome change of pace.

Most of the classes are generally engaging and informative, still though I often think I would learn more at home just by simply listening to the lectures and studying the textbook. But, being a teaching degree classroom activities are no longer simply the labourious ice breakers I am familiar with from psych. Tonight’s class actually provided us with some useful insight in how to deliver a text to the students in a way that is engaging and fun.

Being a teaching degree, one cannot help but reflect back on ones own experience at school and wonder why lies in wait for you on the other side of the desk…

JS.

Inspiration – On Writing and Life

What inspires you? It seems like such a generic question, in fact in my opinion it is but that doesn’t take away from the weight of the answer. Whatever you’re creative pursuit or interest may be, in my case its writing, inspiration forms the cornerstone, the foundation of that pursuit. Personally I feel that writing cannot be forced, that’s not to say you have to sit around waiting to be inspired, heavens no otherwise I’d never get any writing done, well no serious writing anyway. What I am getting at is that often we hit that wall, that damn brick wall that you can really run hard into. As you pick yourself up to look at the damage, all around you is stale material and old debris from the last time you brought down the wall.

When I look at the debris, I am reminded of what it was that brought down that wall time and time again – that wall that says your material is dry or uninteresting, that wall that prevents you from coming up with anything new. That wall that says “you aint good enough”, you see writers block isn’t just not being able to come up with anything new or an inability to continue a piece of work its more than that, it’s everything negative that impedes your ability to write at all – what brought down that wall time and time again is inspiration, passion for what you do, the captivating feeling of imagination and wonder at the world around you. Wonder and imagination for the creative pursuit you love and hate.

Personally, the trick to bringing down that wall, to writing, is continually being inspired, always finding something new you want to try out, something new to express or explore. Creative pursuits are often a means to understanding or expressing ones feelings and thoughts about the world around us. If we are not inspired by what surrounds us, if we are not at all in the slightest caught up in the wonder of the world; how at all can we write in a way that will affect other people or at least write in a way that stays with a person? Even if that wonder or inspiration comes from the darkest corners of the world or the brightest stars of space, inspiration comes in many shapes and forms and often we do not even realise when we are indeed inspired we simply feel and urge. An itch to engage with our creative passions, or even our passions for life itself, so when I hit that wall, that ever high and mighty wall that looks down on me with contempt, I look around at all the debris before me, all the debris that I have left behind me and I think to myself what inspires me?

Sometimes we are inspired by anger, love, hatred, compassion, empathy, jealousy or envy. Sometimes we are inspired by injustice, equality, progress, science, inspirations touch is inescapable; for it’s not just a cornerstone for creative pursuits, inspiration carries us throughout life. We are inspired by books, movies, poems and art. The best way to bring down that wall, is not just remembering ones creative inspiration such as ones materialistic and aesthetic inspiration, we need also look to life, and remind ourselves of what it is in life that inspires us. What is it about living that inspires us?

You can see how that creative wall we hit, translates also into life itself. Often when one is facing writers block, writers block isn’t the problem, writers block is the symptom of an uninspired life.

JS.

University as a Mature Age Student (Pt. 1)

With two weeks until I begin my Masters Degree I cannot help but reflect on my time during my Bachelor of Arts (Major in Psych I will proudly add, if only the peaice of paper said that) and wonder what lies in stall for me over the coming year and a half. Prior to my BA I done a couplt of certificates at TAFE and without sounding cocky it was a breeze, i was able to not only work fulltime and study part time I still managed some semblence of a social life. UNI though was to be completly different. I stepped down from my management position so that I could study fulltime and not jeapodise my studies incidentlythough my first semseter at UNI was something of a holiday, after the years at work and having aleady done three  at TAFE I found it hard to concentrate, among other things. nevertheless I studied hard and eventually leanred the ropes of the system and got through it. Most importantly though it was where I met my wonderful partner whom I am incredibly head over heels for, a love that has given us the most beautiful little girl / but that’s another story for another time.

As I reflect on my time during my BA I consider what it was like to be a mature age student. Uni as mature age student is thinking your special because you have gone and lived in the “real world” or some shit. Reality is knowing your just that annoying old guy who says something stupid because his so high on the idea that hes going to UNI he dosent think before speaking. While I like to think I wasnt that bad I sure as hell seen a few who were, that is one of those mature age sudents who think that their life story not only a valid answer but is empirical evidence to a teachers question, one of those mature age students who use class as opportunity to tell their life story regardless of the teachers question. Don’t get me wrong we we’rnt all like that, nah, the ones who wernt were the ones perhaps a little more like myself, still young, but a little cynica because of that so called “real world experience”. You find yourself telling jokes that no ones gets, your young enough to get along with the other students but too damn old to care what your wearing. Too damn young to care if your drinking before class, what? i thought that’s waht UNI was all about, *laughs* I kid, I kid. Still though, I often found myself too olf for the younger students and too young for the mature students, but perhaps that was just me being a snob… nah, one of the things I found hard at UNI was that no one really wanted to talk. I dont speak for all UNI’s and all people at UNI when i say this but some people just seemed too busy being cool to really have a good chat about UNI or whatever, as though they were still hanging on to the politics of high school. You find yourself generally talking about the same thing with most people, I mean I admit it is hard as you often find that as you finally get to know people your in a new class in a new semester, you talk about what your studying what thier studying ,what teachers they have liked and what ones they haven’t, what subjects they have enjoyed and what they havent.

That being said though I met some great people and made some great freinds that I still talk to. I have often surrmised though that it was just down to being a psych student, all the psych kids are too busy working through their demons to be able to talk to you, as I found whenever I took up electives in other schools it was a whole other vibe. People conversed, they spoke up, they spoke out, that being said it was usually the mature age students.

But, I look ever so forward to the year ahead, I know that it will be differnt and I cannot wait. I hope to keep up the posts about my experiences as a mature age student not to mention a teacher in training.

JS.